stickers

I am not grateful. Not even a little bit. I demand and expect things.

I am like my students.

I love my students, but the thing that irks me the most is when - at the end of the school day - my students run up to me, hold out their hand, and demand a sticker for their good behavior that day.

"Give me a sticker please!" Midou and Alan will yell with their hands outstretched.

Yes, I know they technically earned it. And I'm pleased they care and want to behave....but the fact that they demand a sticker and forget to say thanks - just irks me. And saddens my heart.

But I am like my students. I am like Midou and Alan. I run up to God and demand a sticker.

I read your Word today, God. I woke up extra early to pray with the ladies. I gave my time to others. I didn't yell at my students. I moved to China. I went to my local friend's hometown when I wanted to go on vacation. I volunteered at church. Sooo.... 

"Give me a sticker, please." Give me a good life, God. Give me an easy day. Give me comfort. Give me my dreams. Give me extra energy and a nice taxi driver. 

And I stick out my hand and wait with impatient expectation for these "stickers."

Its sickening really.

As if I could demand the gracious blessings of God in return for my seemingly "good behavior."
Just like my students do.

I don't want to be like Midou or Alan.

I want to be like Judy.

Judy is my angel student. She gets a sticker everyday. She is nigh perfect. Seriously. And yet, instead of racing up and demanding a sticker at the end of each day, Judy waits to be called. She appears genuinely surprised at times. She humbly extends her hand, looks me in the eye, and says, "Thank you, Teacher R*."

Every. single. day.

As if the sticker wasn't ever really the goal in the first place.

I want to be like Judy. I want to be humble and grateful. I want my vision to extend so much greater than just a comfortable life here and now. I want my desire to be the eternal Christ. I don't want "stickers."

I want to want Christ.

And if - in the process of pursuing and gaining more of Him - He throws in a few extra "stickers," I want to be so incredibly surprised and thankful.

Because, after all, "stickers" should never really be the goal in the first place.

"...For His sake, I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ..." Philippians 3:8

a few easter snapshots :)

A very belated fu huo jie kuai le to you, friends! (chinese for "happy resurrection day!").

I'm incredibly thankful to work at a school in which our administrators not only allow, but encourage, us to share with our students the story of Easter!

The week of Easter, Jennifer and I had the opportunity to fully embrace Easter with our kiddos. We made bunny hats, did jellybean math activities, dyed easter eggs, completed an easter egg hunt, and even made "Resurrection rolls." But the best part was sharing resurrection story with them! We used a variety of activities to share the story of His death and resurrection, but their favorite by far was the "resurrection eggs." We put little symbols in empty plastic eggs to help us tell the story, and the kiddos absolutely loved it. They were so eager to open each egg to reveal the next part of the easter story (a little too eager sometimes, haha). It was a blast.

Here's a few of my favorite snapshots of our week:

our silly bunny hats. :) 

a very fast easter egg hunt in polluted air

And this, by far is my favorite. One afternoon, after coming back into my classroom, I found these two girlies rewriting an activity on the board during their Center Time. Nothing like practicing sight words and the resurrection story at the same time. :) 

a snapshot from my fellowship in the city....we put together a last minute puppet skit for the kiddos. It turned out pretty hilarious, haha. We weren't exactly the best puppeteers. 

update on Tiana

hi friends, 

Thank you for your faithfulness to pray for little Tiana and her family these past few weeks. It has been a difficult journey for everyone affected by this - especially her family, but He has proven so faithful.

A few weeks ago, after many days of life support, Tiana's parents began the process of completing tests to determine Tiana's level of brain activity. They completed a series of tests twice and both times the results were negative. Her parents then began the process of looking into organ donation. Tiana had four organs that could be donated. In a matter of hours, doctors found organ recipients, and on April 26th, Tiana passed away. Since organ donation is really rare in China, Tiana was actually the first international organ donor in China. 

That being said, it has been a emotional and difficult time lately for the Winger family and those connected to them. And yet, His faithfulness has been so evident. This past Sunday afternoon was Tiana's memorial service. Not going to lie, it was hard. Luke and Davi chose to have a time of worship at the beginning of the service. The songs chosen just brought me to tears.....tears of pain, but also tears of prayer - just asking that He would bring beauty from the ashes of this pain and use this situation to bring many people to Himself. 

But as the memorial service went on....it was so evident that He already had. Tiana's parents, Luke and Davi both shared in the service, and I was so impressed by their strength of faith and intentionality throughout the service. Through Tiana's short life, two nurses found spiritual life in Jesus, two people's lives were physically rescued, two people will be able to see, and many more people were brought to their knees in prayer. Truly, God is faithful to work things together for His good, and I trust He is - and will continue to be - glorified through this situation. 

My words are so inadequate to clearly explain and portray everything that has transpired the past few weeks...so let me just leave you with some of Luke and Davi's reflections from the night she passed away....

"Tiana went to be with Jesus tonight. I am so thankful for the doctors and medical staff here in China who have been incredible. Tonight, Tiana was able to give her liver to a 6 month old, and will be able to give her kidneys to a 16 year old, and her corneas will be given to two others....Today was her 7 month birthday. What a gift to be able to give to others. I'm not sugar coating it, this sucks and is ridiculously brutal and by far the hardest thing we have ever been through, but I still can't believe how good God is. He has shown his hand through all this and he will continue to as we grieve the loss of our little girl. She looked amazing tonight, we said good bye and the doctors had her looking like an angel. I said before, our hope needs to be found in Christ only. It's so cool how he has given us hope that Tiana could help 4 other kids and we have the hope and knowledge that we will see her again. We even got to hold her one last time, it was awesome. Thanks for your prayers, keep praying for the kids in surgery right now. Tiana was the first international organ donor in China and is getting the chance to help two little boys tonight in Tianjin. Pray that their bodies accept her parts and can recover. Ok, that's what's on my mind. Going to bed now."

- Luke Winger, Tiana's Dad

"Today, April 26th, at 10:16PM we said goodbye to our little princess Tiana. She's with Jesus now and I can't wait to see her again! Thank you everyone for your prayers. We've felt very supported during the whole time. Tiana was taken out of the respirator and the doctors expected her heart to stop within the next 3 minutes but it went for 6 minutes! Tiana's organs are helping four people. Right now, a 6 month old boy is receiving her liver In a couple of hours, a 16 year old boy will receive her kidneys. He's an older boy but, because of his kidney's failing, he only weighs 30 kg. Tiana's kidneys will help him grow and gain weight and the kidneys will eventually grow too.....I feel like I'm hurting for the loss of Tiana and I'm rejoicing for the blessings God is giving us. I prayed to the last minute for God to bring her back but now I know that God's plans were to take her to heaven and I'm OK with that. I trust in Him."

- Daviana Winger, Tiana's Mom

The Winger family at Tiana's memorial service with the parents of one her organ recipients.

Thank you for your continued prayers for this family and for our community here. :) 

my unexpected Saturday

I looove Saturday mornings. I honestly can't sleep in on Saturdays because I don't want to miss the morning. I just love Saturday mornings that much.

So on Friday evening while, Jullianne, my super sweet T.A., and I were working late in the EK, I was already planning on how I would maximize my Saturday morning. Maybe a short run, an exploration through our local farmer's market, some good coffee, and a Skype date with a friend? Sounded like great options to me. But then, my selfishness was interrupted by reality.

As were getting ready to walk out the door, Jullianne told me about a conference she was going to attend the next day in the city.

"But I'm not sure what I'm going to do with Matthew..." She expressed. Matthew is Jullianne's young son (7 years old).  "His dad is out of town on business, and I don't know if I should leave him home alone."

Before I knew what I was saying, my lips were offering to spend the morning with Matthew.

"Oh my goodness!" Her face lit up. "Are you sure??"

I thought about my perfect Saturday morning.... and I hesitated.

First, because I'm selfish. After a crazy week, I was looking forward to spending Saturday morning relaxing - not necessarily serving.

And second, because her son only speaks limited English, and my Chinese is still extremely limited - not quite sure how that would work, haha.

"Of course." I slowly agreed. "It will be a blast."

And it really was.

I arrived at Jullianne's home early on Saturday morning. Matthew, who is usually pretty reserved, was soooo excited to see me!

We had a blast together building blocks, reading English books, and making yarn crafts.

We even ventured to a local grocery store and bought ingredients to make chocolate chip and jellybean cookies (the jellybeans were Matthew's addition). I'm sure we were a sight to see at the grocery store - Chinese 1st grader and foreigner walking around and chatting together in "Chinglish." :)

At the grocery store, I kept asking Matthew what he wanted to eat for lunch. He kept telling me all he wanted was rice, haha.

So for lunch, I humored him and made rice and eggs (such a healthy and complete lunch, eh?).

 We made up for our lack of nutrition with our chocolate chip jellybean cookies, I'm sure. :)

That afternoon, Jullianne returned and we all ventured out to a nearby park together. I loved the opportunity to chat with her and hear more about her life.

Oh friends, I just love her so much. The Lord definitely knew what He was doing when He gave her to me as a T.A. She has become so much more than my coworker - she is my friend. Through our conversation, I pray I was able to share a little bit of His light and truth with her. I would love if you could pray that He would draw her unto Himself and grant His life to her. :)