angry

sometimes I take pictures of my students at recess when they're "solving their problems" 

Teaching can really bring out the worst in you sometimes.

This past week, I have been inwardly rejoicing at the progress my students have made - particularly in regards to their behavior. The battles have begun to rapidly decrease. The hitting, fighting, and name-calling that were all-too-common at the beginning of the year, have seemed almost non-existent this past week.

In fact, today as I walked by a neighboring class's students as they were "solving a problem" (i.e., fighting), I pridefully thought to myself, "I'm so glad my students are way past that."

Oh friends....if I only knew what the morning held, I would have never have thought that.

In just a matter of moments, my students were hitting, crying, kicking, name-calling, defacing school property….all in the short span of one morning. 

I wish I could say it was my fault (since it can often be traced back to me and my need to plan better, use a different teaching method, etc.)….but today, my kiddos were really just on a mean streak. 

Which led to an impromptu “How-to-stay-calm-when-you’re-angry” lesson after our morning snack time. 

“EK friends, what should you do when you’re angry? Do you hit your friends?"

"No!" They shook their heads. 

"Do you say mean things to your friends?"

"No, absolutely not!" Some of them even made our universal "no" hand signal.
"Right. So what should you do?”  I asked my kiddos. 

“Stay calm.” They all replied in unison. (Apparently we had discussed this before. :). 

“Okay, what else?”

“Count to 10.” A student shouted out. 

“Take a deep breath!” Another responded. 

“Good! What else?” I prodded.

Silence. 

It was at this moment, that I realized that I had never talked about anything else they could do…..which meant I needed to come up with another method to teach them on the spot. 

And so, I told them the first thing that came to my head….

"Do you know what Teacher R* does when she’s angry?"

They shook their head. (Some of them - bless their hearts - had a look of shock like they couldn’t imagine me angry, haha). 

“She prays. When Teacher R* gets angry she will pray and ask God to help her not to get angry.” 

This led to a few looks of disbelief on their faces. and emitted a few giggles by others. But as I shared a recent story about a time I was angry and prayed (and by recent, I mean like from two minutes before), I could see it dawn on them that I was serious. I really do pray when I’m angry.  A few responded and were eager to share about how they’ve noticed me pray at lunch. In all, the kiddos just loved this new piece of information…(some even proceeded to pretend like they were meditating on the floor?! - not quite the same thing, I’m afraid).

And yet, despite how lovely it sounded to share that with my kids…..I wonder if Satan heard that and decided to test my resolution to pray and stay calm the rest of the morning….because their crazy behavior only got worse as the morning progressed. 

But despite a broken shoe, two bathroom fights, and many more “problem solving sessions,” we made it through the morning, and I pray that He is using each of these battles to mature, discipline, and develop these little ones - and me! -  into the men and women He desires us all to be.

a work in progress

the view outside my apartment window

Construction here is such a funny thing. In some ways, construction in China progresses so quickly. It seems a new building can be constructed overnight. But other times, progress is very, very sloooow.

Take our living quarters for example.

This past fall, construction began for a new apartment building that is to be erected directly behind my own. And all year long, we have heard the “progress” the construction workers have been making. All day long. Every day. The workers will begin at 6am and continue late into the night. 

Hammering. Talking. Drilling. Yelling. Pounding. 

And despite all the noise (all day long), there is absolutely no visible progress. I watch them everyday from my apartment window - just waiting for the magical day when some sign of progression will appear. 

And everyday - nothing. 

Only a few mounds of boards and a pile of dirt. 

Tonight, after a long heart talk with my roommate, I once again creeped out my window to see the “construction” happening below. 

“These construction workers have been working so hard all year, and I really can’t see anything they’ve done.” I complained. 

“I feel like that’s us sometimes,” my roommate wisely responded. “We work so hard, and yet, sometimes it appears there’s no progress. No fruit of His work within us.”

I inwardly sighed with agreement.

“But” my roommate encouraged me, “someday soon, it will all come together. And when it does, we’ll be surprised at how much has been happening all along.”

I know that it is very possible that I could wake up tomorrow to see a new apartment building behind my own (seriously - things can almost be built overnight here!). And when that day comes, I will know that all along….these long and noisy past few months were not in vain. Something was happening. Some progress was being made. Even if it was hidden to the eye.

To be honest, my roommate is right on.

These last few months have been a little long. There is noise and pain and things happening within my heart and life….and yet. I don’t always see the immediate progress. And its hard for me. If I don’t see the fruit, its easy to attribute failure. Were these last few months in vain? 

I want the building. I want the fruit, but I don’t always want to wait for the foundation. 

I trust that He is working here. Working in me and through me and around me - even if the progress is sometimes slow and a little hidden at times. 

remember that one time....

often, I have little moments that you just know will make a good story later....

like the one time our taxi got in a car wreck on the way to church.

no worries - it was a mild hit (left bumper) ...and not our taxi driver's fault :)

 The taxi driver was super kind and flagged down another taxi to take us while he waited for the police to come and inspect the accident. The other taxi just so happened to have another young lady in it who spoke almost perfect English. Love how He orchestrates things - even in the midst of unfortunate circumstances.

or...

that one time our bus driver crawled out the back window while in the middle of the highway...

 ....yes, once again, we got in a car accident (not our fault!). A small car hit our bus as we were on our way to the Great Wall for a Monday Night Fellowship retreat. The car hit our bus right by the door of the bus, and I guess, legally could not move the car until after it could be inspected? Our brave bus driver subsequently climbed out the back window of the bus to talk with/settle accounts with the other car's driver. However, the funniest part of the story is that the bus driver also had to enter the bus again through the back window (??) after settling accounts with the other driver (not sure why?!?).

 The other driver ended up boosting our bus driver up in order for him to be able to get back through the window. Only in China, haha.

or

that one time I went for a run and while I was running and jamming out to Lecrae.....I noticed a man in plain clothes running beside me.
"Um, excuse me!" He yelled. I immediately stopped, thinking I had dropped something. "I know this may seem offensive, but can I have your phone number?"
Apparently, he wanted a foreigner to practice his English with.....I ended up declining him my phone number, but I gave him much credit for his boldness. :)

or

that one time I rode in the back of car for three hours while holding a baby chicken?

This past spring, I joined Taozi for a quick trip to her hometown. It was such a blessing to be able to see her family again and spend time with them all. However, our ride there was quite the adventure....

Taozi had purchased a baby chicken from our local farmer's market a few weeks prior (don't ask me why - I honestly have no idea). She wanted to take the baby chick to her family's home. We carefully packaged our little chicken friend in a box and first took in on the public bus, then on the subway (not sure if that's even legal), and finally in her brother's car for the rest of the journey to her parent's hometown.....

And yes, I'm happy to announce our little friend survived the journey.  :)

all that to say, life is sure interesting at times here. So thankful for all the memories - both silly and serious - that He's blessed me with this year. :)