the great wall, great grace

Ah, where do I begin? Life as of late has been full….full of work, full of decisions, full last minute get-togethers, and in it all, full of much-needed grace.

He has provided some rather neat opportunities lately. Ones that honestly, I wasn’t really seeking, but that He just brought across my path….

Two weeks ago, a group from the Monday night fellowship joined up with a local congr*gation to make a trip to the Great Wall. This trip was an outreach event. Although I knew I would be one of the only foreigners, after our Monday night gathering, I decided to sign up to go.

But by Saturday morning, I was beginning to catch a cold and the strain of a week’s worth of teaching was beginning to take its toll. I was exhausted. But despite my lack of desire to hike anywhere that morning (including the Great Wall), I reluctantly dragged myself out of bed and trekked through the pouring rain, coffee in hand, to the bus.

On my way, I asked the L*rd to change my attitude and grant some opportunities to speak His name that day. I choose and empty seat on the bus, and a few minutes later, a girl I had never seen before plopped down next to me.

Her name was Sophia.

my bus buddy

We introduced ourselves, and I quickly learned that Sophia had attended the local ch*rch for the first time ever the night before for a special event. At the event, she heard of the next day’s Great wall adventure and decided to join – despite the fact that she didn’t know anyone. 

don't worry...she quickly made friends!

Sophia had excellent English and was very eager to share about her life. It was really fun to chat with her…and before I knew it we had talked the whole way to the Great Wall (about a 2 hour trip!). We ended up spending the majority of the day together. Sophia was very open to the g*spel and I was blessed to be able to share a little bit with her over lunch. After lunch, the group gathered together and sang some w*rship songs. 

Then, a brother shared the good news with the group. He ended with an invitation, and Sophia expressed that she wanted to know more about following J*sus!

And the one thought that kept running though my head as Sophia silently pr*yed on the picnic bench next to me was this: I’m really glad I came today.

Because bar the grace of G*d that morning, I would have stayed in bed and enjoyed sleeping in on a rainy Saturday.

But His grace was sufficient, and I came. And I’m so glad I did.

In truth, He was preparing Sophia’s heart for this trip long before she stepped onto the bus that morning…..and I love that. But to be utterly honest, you know what I love just as much? I love that He allowed me to catch a glimpse of that work in her.

Although I knew this before I came to China, its becoming so much more of a reality to me that He really does not need me at all to accomplish His work here. He just invites me to join Him it. And due to my reluctance or fear or selfishness or even my plain busyness…. I can miss it - like I almost missed it with Sophia.

But thankfully, in the midst of my relative unwillingness, He is still ever-willing to pour out grace.

Grace upon me….and upon those around me – like Sophia. 

I was able to spend some more time talking with Sophia on the bus ride home, and I met with her the next week at an English corner. He’s working in her heart, friends. Although I don’t believe Sophia fully understands (or believes) the g*spel quite yet, she expresses great interest in it and possesses a hunger to know more - very encouraged by this “evidence of grace” in her heart. I would love if you could please be asking for her salvation. Thank you so much, friends - so very thankful for you! 

And so very thankful for His grace.

 

little ironies...

I’m beginning to grasp in such a small degree that the Sover*ign One does not always work in conventional ways. He loves to surprise us. And I think He loves irony.

Like weakness being strength.

The poor being rich.

And the last being first.

So all that to say….I’ve been noticing some “little ironies” in life as of late.

Seven years ago, I was blessed to visit China with my family.

While here, we visited some friends teaching in a college. During our time, we sought to encourage them. One of those friends, Gib, has since moved on from teaching in China and now works stateside.

The Lord used my time visiting Gib to open my eyes to teaching overseas and begin to burden my heart for the country of China.

a rather embarrassing picture of all of us a few years ago... :S

Ironically, though, during this visit, I heard the horror stories of other foreign teachers who – although they planned to teach grad students – were instead teaching English to Chinese kindergartners….and I resolved in my heart that I would love to teach in China – but I would never teach kindergartners.

College, high school, maybe even middle school students….but not kindergartners.

And here I am, seven years later, teaching 100 of them. (Isn’t it funny how He works sometimes? :)

Sorry....they're not the most photogenic bunch - still need to teach them what "smile" means.

I know one of my family’s main purposes in seeing Gib was to bring him some encouragement. And I hope we did.

This past week, “the tables flipped” so to say. Gib made a trip to China….and he was able to visit me. He explained to me that one of his main purposes for this visit was to bring encouragement to his friends here – like me. And it truly was a huge encouragement to see him and share a little bit of my life here with him.

Just like we were able to do for him seven years ago.

a real conversation + a true friend + a good cup of joe = major heart encouragement

I just love how He has brought everything full circle. 

Speaking of bringing things full circle, I joined a group from the Monday night gathering for an outreach event on a college campus. The central area for people to talk and share with college students was the library, which – for those of you who know of the  weekly ev*ngelism outreach I was involved with during college – just made me smile….because our “target talking spot” was in front of a library, too.

Ironically, I was not invited to the outreach event by a group leader, but by my unsaved friend – Vicky.

A little more than a month ago, I met Vicky at the class I taught for the company workers. As she walked in 30 minutes late for the first class, profusely apologizing to me in her rather-fluent English for her tardiness, I knew right away that this girl was leap-years ahead of my other students. I had the opportunity to get to know Vicky and her friend, Ling, by taking them out to dinner after one of our classes. I invited them to come to our Monday night gathering, and Vicky has since begun to come regularly as her work schedule allows. It was at the Monday night gathering that she learned of an ev*ngelism outing that attenders of the gathering were invited to join. In a few weeks, a group was going to go talk and share with students at a college campus. And ironically, Vicky wanted to go….and since she didn’t know many of the people at the gathering yet, she asked me to go along, too.

I agreed to go, but I must confess that I found the whole experience rather ironic; Vicky is not a believer…and well, I don’t speak Chinese. How on earth were either one of us going to be able to w*tness to anyone? :)

And yet, I’m beginning to wrap my mind around the fact that He does not always work in conventional ways….and I have a feeling that He does this in order to make sure that He alone receives all the glory.

That morning, we arrived at the college campus and met up with the rest of the group. We split up and began to walk around the library to find people to talk to….

But unfortunately, we couldn’t really find anyone to share with.

I wasn’t too discouraged, though.

Although we couldn’t find anyone, I knew He had already brought someone to us that morning: Vicky. In fact, on our subway commute, Vicky and I were able to talk about J*s*s and what it means to follow Him. And then, later throughout the morning, some of our friends from the Monday fellowship were able to share with Vicky, too (and this time in Chinese :).

Since our time together during the outing, I’ve had a little more time to share with Vicky. A few weeks ago, she joined us for the Monday night gathering and afterwards, I was able to give her a B*ble in English and Chinese. She was very excited to receive it and promised me that she would read it often. :) Asking that He be faithful to speak to her through it.

All that to say, I’m so thankful for all that He is doing lately. Yes, in many ways it is unconventional and a little ironic. 

But it is so good. 

Because the more unconventional and ironic - the more it seems be of Him....and not of me.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways  my ways, decares the L*RD. For as the heav*ns are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts....so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it..." -Isa. 55:8-9, 11

Thank you for your continued pr*yers, friends! Please especially pray for Vicky’s salvation….she is very curious and open to the faith, but I’m afraid Vicky sees Chr*sti*nity merely as a gateway to understanding western culture. Please join me in asking that He would open her eyes and help her to understand that it is so much more than that….it is the way, the truth, and the life! :) Thank you. 

Xi'an Reflections

I am so silly sometimes….and by silly, I really mean fleshly.

A few days ago, I was complaining in my heart because I wasn’t able to join my family on a short trip they were taking to Colorado. …and as I write this post right now, I am rolling by Chinese mountains on my train ride back home from Xi’an.

Xi’an.

This past weekend, I was blessed to use the time over our four-day Dragon Boat Festival holiday to visit Xi’an with a few friends. It was a blast to see a city with such a rich history and to be able to visit the Terracotta Warriors.

However, I believe the best part of the trip was not the 8^th Wonder of the Ancient World (although it was pretty wonderful) or my bicycle ride around the top of the city wall (although that was pretty awesome, too)…..I believe the best part was meeting a few new friends.

Yesterday, my friends and I had planned to take a car with the travel agency service connected with our hotel to see the Terracotta Warriors, but due to the holiday, they didn’t have any drivers available. As my friends and I sat in our hotel lobby and discussed how to rearrange our plans, a lady from the travel agency ran up to us and excitedly exclaimed that they had a driver for us.

And that is how we met George, our driver and soon-to-be new Xi'an friend.

George was a driver for a different travel agency, but was hired for the day from the travel agency connected with our hotel. And he was amazing. He spoke excellent English, and had a very kind and soft-spoken spirit. And he agreed to let us stop for coffee before taking us to see the warriors. :)

As we spent the day with George, he began to tell us more about his life, and about a few foreigners he knew who appeared to have made an impact upon him. We were especially interested in a Mr. L and a M-  - two foreigners had opened a coffee shop in Xi’an. By the way George spoke about them, we were curious if they were believers. My roommate Heather commented to me later, “I feel like G*d might be surrounding George with believers to speak into his life.”

After learning of our love for coffee, George especially wanted us to meet M..., his friend from the United States who had an important role in beginning this coffee shop. George offered to take us to the coffee shop on our way back from the soldiers to meet him, but M- was unavailable that evening.

And although it seemed really random, my roommate Heather and I had a hunch that we needed to connect with this M-….partially due to the friendship we had forged with George that day and partially because we thought he might be a *brother. Therefore, not to be dismayed, Heather and I decided to take an hour taxi ride the next morning to visit this coffee shop and to meet M-.

And I’m really glad we did.

The next morning, after finding another new friend in our taxi driver, Heather and I finally found the coffee shop.

And I loved it. It was a very “chill place” with a Starbucks-essence. And the coffee was awesome… served in a mug, which always makes it better.

We met M- and enjoyed talking with him. He told us about the coffee shop’s vision to partner with Chinese locals with a business-based, cultural-exchange program. It was a very pleasant conversation, until Heather and I casually mentioned “G*d” in our explanation of how we ended up in China.

And then the conversation got really fun.

“Oh! So you guys are Christians?” M- exclaimed. “Let me go back and tell you everything again….”

And as our “hunch” was soon confirmed, we had found a brother in M-. :)

 As we sat and sipped our lattes with M-, he explained that everything he said before was completely true, he just didn’t give us the “full story”…And as M- explained the fully story of the ministry being accomplished through this little coffee shop, my heart was so encouraged. The coffee shop was being ultized as a gathering place for an afterschool tutoring ministry, fellowship gatherings, and college outreach. It was also connected with a bakery that helped employ women with brittle-bone disease.

As I walked away from this little coffee shop that morning, my heart was once again reminded, G*d is at work in the world. In Xi’an. In my town. In the States. Everywhere.

That same afternoon, I had the opportunity to ride a bike around the old city wall of Xi’an. It was quite the ride (9 miles!), but it was so fun. And the whole time I was just amazed by this awesome G*d that I serve. He is the L*rd of the nations. And He is not limited by time, geography, language, or resources. And He will accomplish what He wills….and I just love how He chooses ordinary people like M-, Heather, and even a yet-unsaved driver like George to accomplish it.

As I continue to roll by the Xi’an mountains, my eyes are draw the to wheat fields below them. The wheat is white and ready for harvest. But only a few villagers can be spotted in the fields gathering the wheat.

I can’t but think of this verse: “Do you not say, ‘There are yet four months, and then comes the harvest? Look, I tell you, lift up your eyes, and see that the fields are white for harvest.” (Jn 4:35).

He is at work in the world….and the harvest is as ready as the white wheat fields dotting the Chinese countryside outside my train window.

“And He said to them, ‘The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few. Therefore pr*y earnestly to the L*rd of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.” (Lk10:2). 

Please pr*y, dear friends. Laborers are needed, and more than anything, pr*yer is essential. Pr*y for laborers to be sent out here in China and in the world. The harvest is ready. The fields are white. And the laborers are few.


Once again, thank you for your continued pr*yers for me, my friends here in China, and for the m*n*stry being accomplished here in this beautiful country. May His name be great among this nation.

the terracotta warriors

my "traveling buddies"

xi'an city wall

Fear

My little "tough boy" hard at work.

“Oh no! Look. The little girl is sad.” I pointed to the little girl on the Smartboard.

“The little girl cannot find her Mom ….Where is Mom? Where is Mom?” I continued teaching, making actions for every word.

“What does the girl need? Does she need a fire engine?”

“No!” My students empathetically replied.

“Does she need a taxi?”
"No!"

“What does the girl need?” I asked.

“A police car!” My students shouted.

As I touched the Smartboard for the next slide of our story, I smiled. For all the times when my students are more interested on the shard of crayon wrapper on the floor than learning English, there are moments where they just seem to hang onto every my word. And I just love it. I soaked in their enthusiasm with teacherly pride as I watched their eager eyes follow the story on the Smartboard. They were all hooked…..all except for one. He was holding his hand in his mouth and tears were welling in his eyes.

I quickly paused the story.

“Dylan, are you okay?”

He shook his head.

“Bu hao kan….Wo bu xiang….” He mumbled.

What is going on? I thought to myself and quickly began to do a mental assessment of Dylan. Is he hurt? Is he sick? No blood was visible. His pants were dry….I was especially confused because Dylan – although tender-hearted – is much more of a “tough boy” than a cry baby.

He kept repeating the same Chinese phrases over and over. “Wo bu kan. Wo bu xiang….Wo pa.” I began to piece it all together….

“Are you scared, Dylan?” He nodded and the tears began to fall.

“It’s okay, Dylan.” I did my best to comfort him, but it was to no avail. It was as if our harmless curriculum story had triggered a memory and propelled his mind into anxiety-mode. Finally, I decided to escort him to our nearby office to let him sit there and settle down for a few moments while I finished teaching the story.

The next day was not much better. Before I led the students to the Smartboard, Dylan began crying and once again repeating the same Chinese phrases…. “Wo bu xiang… Bu hao kan….” He began telling me he was sick. He needed to go to the bathroom…. Anything that would get him out of the classroom. (He’s a pretty clever one).

As much as I tried to reason and assure him both in English and my limited Chinese…he was still extremely freaked out.

What’s the root problem behind this? Why is he so scared? And after class that day, I determined to find out.

I spoke with his homeroom teacher who later informed me that Dylan was afraid of policeman because he has been told by his parents that if he is bad, they will call the policeman to come and take him away. (seriously?!?)

Okay, L*rd….how am I going to deal with this new challenge? I inwardly groaned/prayed when I heard this.

By day three of this last week, Dylan wouldn’t even come into my classroom. He was so scared. Finally, his homeroom teacher got him to come in. But, for the first three minutes of class, he wouldn’t sit down. He would only cry and pace the floor and tell me the same Chinese phrases. Finally, I had to physically sit him down…..and try my best to distract both him and his classmates as I carried on class as normal.

Tomorrow, he will be better. His homeroom teacher assured me. But I was not so sure.

And as Dylan’s fears seemed to intensify with each passing day, so did mine. As providence would have it, at the end of this same week, I had Open Class for parents. (Parents had the opportunity to come and observe me teach one class this past week). I was already pretty nervous myself to have to conduct a “normal” class with approximately 40 parents trying to squeeze in the back of my classroom…without having to try to console a fear-stricken child.

I tried my best to portray policeman as nice, good people in the next few classes, but this fear was deep-set within him. His fear clouded his mind. He seemed incapable of reason.

Ugh, I groaned as Dylan began to work himself up during another class period. Why can’t he see how ridiculous this fear is?

But as I prayed and prepared for my Open Classes (and specifically for Dylan), Dylan’s fearful heart was not the only one I observed displayed…..I saw a glimpse of my own as well. What if I fail as a teacher during class? What if the students will not listen? What if a student throws up? What if the parents hate me? What if, what if, what if…. Fearful thoughts such as these assailed me. In retrospect, they appear ridiculous, but at the time, they were very real…..and very unreasonable. Just like that of my precious little “tough-boy” Dylan.

After an eventful week, Friday finally arrived. It was my final day of Open Classes….and Dylan’s class’ turn.

And despite my considerations to change my lesson plan for Dylan’s Open class, I decided to continue with my lesson as planned….and prayed fervently that he would not be scared by the SmartBoard story at the end.

Towards the end of the lesson, I shared the SmartBoard story – keeping a close eye on Dylan the entire time. But something amazing happened.

Dylan was not scared.

At all.

In fact, he participated and appeared to enjoy the story a little.

What?! Why the sudden change?

But then, I noticed something. Dylan was not sitting on the floor like all of the other kids. He was standing next to his dad.

And when his dad was near, Dylan’s had no fear.

In that moment, the Father just spoke to my heart.

When you recognize my presence, your fear will vanish, too.

My Heavenly Father brought a passage to my mind. “…The L*rd is a hand; do not be anxious about anything…”

The L*rd is at hand.

The phrase kept echoing in my heart the same way Dylan’s fearful statements had echoed in my ears only a few days earlier.

And I began to make the connection: When Dylan was with his dad, his fear vanished. When I recognize the presence of my Heavenly Father, my fear will vanish, too. When I I know that the L*rd is very near (so close He is at hand!), I will be empowered to not be anxious.

And yet, I am so prone to forget this….so apt to forget His promise to never leave or forsake. And when I forget, my fear resurfaces with surprising strength.

Just like Dylan’s.

I wish I could say that after Dylan’s Open Class, his “police car fears” were forever assuaged, but that has not proven to be the case. In fact, Dylan would not even enter my classroom today. He was finally escorted in after his homeroom teacher promised him – with a wink in my direction – that we would do the ABCs together…..(I guess those aren’t too traumatic, haha.)

So I’m discovering that apparently, when his dad is absent….Dylan’s fears are not.

And slowly but surely, I’m understanding the same is true in my life as well.

“The L*rd is at hand; Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by pr*yer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to G*d. And the peace of G*d, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Chr*st J*s*s.”  - Phil4:5b-7