I am supposed to be leaving in approximately 17 hours for China.
But I'm not.
Plans have changed. Again. (I should really be expecting this by now.....He must want me to learn a little flexibility. :)
Due to a surprise opportunity (see previous post), I exchanged my plane ticket to late February tonight. Although I really wanted to get to China before the semester begins, this was really the only affordable plane ticket (due to the Chinese New Year). Before I began looking at the ticket prices and dates, I just prayed that He would provide the right ticket with the right time and price. Unfortunately, the ticket prices for February were significantly more expensive than the price of my first ticket. Tickets prices didn't drop until the late February. Ugh. Call me impatient, but that seems like an eternity away. But He is faithful, and I'm thankful that this ticket was actually $50 cheaper than my first ticket. Plus, I will hopefully be able to begin working only two weeks into the semester instead of one month into it like I may have had to before this change.
And speaking of changed plans...here's another one. I was informed the other day that I will be teaching students a year younger in two of my classes. Not too big of a deal - until you realize just how young my students already are (i.e., really young!). I've been joking with my family that I hope my students are all potty trained, but after being informed about this change the other day, in a few weeks, my "potty training remarks" may not prove to be very humorous after all. :)
Even still, in the midst of unmet expectations and unknown changes, He is faithful. He is in control. He has a plan.
And His plan is so much more perfect than my own.
So its really not His plans that are changing, but mine. As the Sovereign One, He had a master plan for all of this before China even crossed my mind. I am striving to rest in and continually submit to that plan.
But confession: its hard.
Its hard to be flexible when there are so many unknowns. Its hard to pay $250 to change a ticket when you're not even sure if you'll be able to enter the country by then. Its hard to trust in the midst of so much uncertainty.
And its easy to fear and doubt.
Last night, we changed my ticket in the matter of a 10 minute phone conversation. Afterwards, I literately felt sick to my stomach. Did we choose the right day? Is the price okay? What if we have to change it again? All of these fearful thoughts just rushed in.
Ugh.
I hate fear. To be honest, I'm sick of it. And on my own, I'm absolutely powerless against it.
But He is not. He is Conqueror!
And I find so much comfort in that.
So no, I'm not leaving for China in 17 hours. And although I know He has a master plan in all of this, I must confess I am a little disappointed. I am really excited to get to China, and I'm not super pumped to have to wait six more weeks to get there. (I know, its pathetic :). But I know He has a reason for this. The next six weeks will be good. His plan is always best.
Right now, it may seem like a change to me, but He is never taken by surprise. What a glorious thought!
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P.S. Just wanted to say that I love, love you all! :)
