"Everything is safe which we commit to Him, and nothing is really safe which is not so committed."
- A.W. Tozer
The last few days have been a whirlwind of paperwork.
A few days ago, I was presented with an opportunity. This opportunity would allow me to get to China a few weeks later than anticipated, but it would allow me to begin teaching sooner than expected. To me, this seemed a pretty impossible opportunity. However, since I know I serve Someone who is kinda in the business of overcoming impossibilities, I decided to pursue it.
I made phone calls. I emailed people. Lots of people. And by lots of people, I actually mean that I emailed anyone in the department or company who would maybe pity me and answer my email (sorry if you happened to be one of those people). I called again. And again. I stayed on hold. I stayed on hold long enough to memorize the tune of the "elevator-like" hold music. I experienced disappointment. And frustration. And thoughts of suicide. (....okay, definitely joking on the last one....but seriously. It was getting ridiculous.)
To be honest, the more I pursued this opportunity, the more I felt like I was experiencing resistance at every turn.
After encountering so many roadblocks, I began to question my Father. "Is this really worth it? Do you really want me to go to China? It would be a lot easier to stay here. I know you can make this opportunity work out, but will you? What are you trying to teach me through all this?"
And just then, my Father brought a verse to my mind.
"Come unto Me, all you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest."
"Yes, Father. That's what I want." My heart responded. I was weary - weary of unanswered emails, dead-end phone calls, and paperwork nightmares. I was burdened by the impossibility of this situation. And I desperately wanted rest.
I wanted rest in the midst of all this chaos, but to my shame, I had forgotten one important thing.
I had forgotten to come.
"Come unto Me..."
Before I can rest in Him, I must come to Him.
In the midst of it all, I began to realize to a little greater degree, what it means to rest in Him. My circumstances didn't improve dramatically. (In fact, I found out that a document that I paid to be sent to Nebraska was accidentally sent to Nevada instead....oh dear.) But I learned that I can rest in the midst of chaos, when I choose to come to Him and lay my heart before my Father. He cares, and He gives rest.
But I must come.
One evening, after another whirlwind day, I poured my heart out to my Father and let him know yet again my heart concerning this opportunity. I knew that if He chose to work it out, this opportunity would save me time, money, and allow me to begin teaching sooner than expected. Once again, I surrendered this to Him and chose to rest in Him.
Praise Him, the very next morning, I received an email that explained that the opportunity was successful. He was faithful to answer my plea and through it all, increased my faith.
Nothing is impossible for Him!
Yes, my soul, find rest in Him; my hope comes from Him. Ps. 62:5
